{"id":693,"date":"2020-07-27T13:30:41","date_gmt":"2020-07-27T11:30:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindguide.sk\/?p=693"},"modified":"2024-01-28T11:58:49","modified_gmt":"2024-01-28T10:58:49","slug":"m-balazova-o-detskom-vzdore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mindguide.sk\/en\/2020\/07\/27\/m-balazova-o-detskom-vzdore\/","title":{"rendered":"M. Bal\u00e1\u017eov\u00e1: About children\u00b4s defiance"},"content":{"rendered":"

O detskom vzdore.<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

K nap\u00edsaniu tohto blogu ma in\u0161piroval z\u00e1\u017eitok z n\u00e1v\u0161tevy u odbornej lek\u00e1rky, kde som bola so svojim 2,5 ro\u010dn\u00fdm synom. V \u010dase obeda zvy\u010dajne u\u017e sp\u00e1va, tak\u017ee nebol pr\u00e1ve ide\u00e1lne naladen\u00fd, z\u00e1rove\u0148 k lek\u00e1rom \u010dasto (na\u0161\u0165astie) nechodievame, tak\u017ee je pre\u0148ho dos\u0165 \u0165a\u017ek\u00e9 spolupracova\u0165 v nezn\u00e1mom prostred\u00ed s nov\u00fdmi \u013eu\u010fmi. Situ\u00e1cia sa vyvinula tak, \u017ee cel\u00fa n\u00e1v\u0161tevu doslova prevrieskal, na \u010do pani doktorka po chv\u00edli tohto kriku zareagovala: \u201cPani, a v\u00e1\u0161 syn je hysterik? Chod\u00edte s n\u00edm niekam?\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>
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Ostala som ako obaren\u00e1, pani doktorke som vysvetlila, \u017ee m\u00f4j syn rozhodne nie je hysterik, ale pr\u00e1ve si prech\u00e1dza obdob\u00edm, ktor\u00e9 sa v psychol\u00f3gii odborne naz\u00fdva obdobie vzdoru<\/strong>. O tom, ako tak\u00e9 obdobie vzdoru m\u00f4\u017ee vyzera\u0165, \u010do vlastne znamen\u00e1 a o tom, \u017ee je \u00faplne norm\u00e1lne, zjavne netu\u0161ia odborn\u00edci, a \u010do napokon rodi\u010dia mal\u00fdch det\u00ed, ktor\u00ed \u017eij\u00fa svoj ka\u017edodenn\u00fd \u017eivot a nevy\u0161tudovali pr\u00e1ve \u017eiadny humanitn\u00fd odbor na vysokej \u0161kole.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Prv\u00e9 obdobie vzdoru zvy\u010dajne \u201cprepukne\u201d okolo 2\u20133 roku \u017eivota die\u0165a\u0165a (druh\u00fdm b\u00fdva naj\u010dastej\u0161ie charakteristick\u00e1 puberta). Detsk\u00fd psychol\u00f3g E. Ericson a jeho te\u00f3ria v\u00fdvinu hovoria, \u017ee toto obdobie u die\u0165a\u0165a je spojen\u00e9 s nadob\u00fadan\u00edm auton\u00f3mie. Je to z\u00e1kladn\u00e1 \u00faloha tohto obdobia. Die\u0165a u\u017e nie je s\u00fa\u010das\u0165ou matky, ove\u013ea viac si uvedomuje svoju oddelenos\u0165 od nej, ale z\u00e1rove\u0148 aj st\u00e1le pretrv\u00e1vaj\u00facu z\u00e1vislos\u0165 na dospel\u00fdch a na ich v\u00f4li. T\u00e1to mal\u00e1 os\u00f4bka kone\u010dne za\u010dala dobre ovl\u00e1da\u0165 vlastn\u00e9 telo, dok\u00e1\u017ee beha\u0165, sk\u00e1ka\u0165, vyjs\u0165 po schodoch, dok\u00e1\u017ee cielene pou\u017e\u00edva\u0165 predmety, m\u00e1 \u00fa\u017easn\u00fa fant\u00e1ziu a to v\u0161etko potrebuje pr\u00e1ve teraz vysk\u00fa\u0161a\u0165 a najlep\u0161ie, ak to m\u00f4\u017ee robi\u0165 s\u00e1m\/sama. <\/em><\/strong>Ak naraz\u00ed na mantinely, ktor\u00e9 nie je bezpe\u010dn\u00e9 ani m\u00fadre prekro\u010di\u0165 (a tie v\u00e4\u010d\u0161inou ur\u010duj\u00fa pr\u00e1ve rodi\u010dia), doch\u00e1dza k stretu z\u00e1ujmov mal\u00e9ho Ega a vonkaj\u0161\u00edch hran\u00edc, ktor\u00e9 sa \u010dasto kon\u010dia z\u00e1chvatmi pla\u010du, krikom, h\u00e1dzan\u00edm sa o zem a pod. Jeho nervov\u00e1 s\u00fastava e\u0161te nie je nato\u013eko zrel\u00e1, aby dok\u00e1zal tento stret prekona\u0165 bez negat\u00edvnych em\u00f3ci\u00ed. Hnev, krik, pla\u010d a agresivita s\u00fa v tomto pr\u00edpade \u00faplne norm\u00e1lnym a zdrav\u00fdm <\/strong>prejavom pr\u00e1ve vyv\u00edjaj\u00faceho sa detsk\u00e9ho Ega a rodi\u010dia by mali v tichosti tlieska\u0165 a te\u0161i\u0165 sa tomuto javu! Je to zn\u00e1mka toho, \u017ee na\u0161e mal\u00e9 die\u0165a za\u010d\u00edna prejavova\u0165 svoju v\u00f4\u013eu a individualitu. A \u010do je \u00fa\u017easnej\u0161ie ako sledova\u0165, \u017ee z n\u00e1\u0161ho mal\u00e9ho b\u00e1b\u00e4tka rastie samostatn\u00fd a slobodn\u00fd \u010dlovek?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Samozrejme nie je mo\u017en\u00e9, aby sme mal\u00e9mu die\u0165a\u0165u dovolili \u00faplne v\u0161etko. Ja som v ordin\u00e1cii pani doktorky rozhodne nedovolila synovi zap\u00edna\u0165 pr\u00edstroje ani beha\u0165 po miestnosti! Jednak by to nebolo bezpe\u010dn\u00e9, a z\u00e1rove\u0148 by to bolo od n\u00e1s jednozna\u010dne neslu\u0161n\u00e9, keby sme sa spr\u00e1vali ako v lese \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V synovom spr\u00e1van\u00ed som samozrejme narazila na jeho odpor, krik a pla\u010d, preto\u017ee sa mu \u00faplne opr\u00e1vnene nep\u00e1\u010dilo, \u017ee ho dr\u017e\u00edm a nedovol\u00edm mu objavova\u0165 pre\u0148ho v tej chv\u00edli nie\u010do zauj\u00edmav\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rozumiem aj rodi\u010dom, ktor\u00ed vyfasovali mal\u00e9 vzdorovit\u00e9 klbko, ktor\u00e9 na v\u0161etko hovor\u00ed nie a ak\u00e1ko\u013evek dohoda s n\u00edm stoj\u00ed stra\u0161ne ve\u013ea energie. Niektor\u00ed rodi\u010dia maj\u00fa pocity viny, \u017ee nie\u010do nezvl\u00e1daj\u00fa, alebo sa hnevaj\u00fa na die\u0165a a jeho vzdorovitos\u0165 ich \u201cotravuje\u201d. Mo\u017eno je na \u010dase zmeni\u0165 optiku a za\u010da\u0165 vn\u00edma\u0165 tieto prejavy nie ako tvrdohlavos\u0165 die\u0165a\u0165a, ale ako jeho boj za vlastn\u00fa auton\u00f3miu.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

V pr\u00edpade, \u017ee u v\u00e1\u0161ho die\u0165a\u0165a sa jedn\u00e1 vyslovene o boj o moc a m\u00e1te pocit, \u017ee to nie je len obdob\u00edm vzdoru, ale je to akoby s\u00fa\u010das\u0165ou jeho osobnosti \u2014 je ve\u013emi d\u00f4le\u017eit\u00e9 pozrie\u0165 sa na to, ak\u00fdm sp\u00f4sobom ur\u010dujete hranice svojmu die\u0165a\u0165u \u2014 ste benevolentn\u00ed, \u010do sa t\u00fdka dodr\u017eiavania pravidiel (napr\u00edklad v na\u0161ej rodine si navz\u00e1jom fyzicky neubli\u017eujeme)? Alebo pr\u00edli\u0161 \u010dasto men\u00edte dan\u00fd pravidl\u00e1 a ste menej konzistentn\u00ed? Pre die\u0165a je \u0165a\u017ek\u00e9 vyzna\u0165 sa v pravidl\u00e1ch, ktor\u00e9 s\u00fa st\u00e1le in\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Napriek tomu, \u017ee sa s va\u0161\u00edm die\u0165a\u0165om \u0165a\u017e\u0161ie komunikuje, sna\u017ete sa zachova\u0165 \u010do najviac momentov, kedy mu budete prejavova\u0165, \u010do najviac spont\u00e1nnej pozornosti. Deti, ktor\u00e9 \u010dasto zlostia, rodi\u010dia po \u010dase za\u010dn\u00fa \u201codme\u0148ova\u0165\u201d svojou pozornos\u0165ou u\u017e iba vtedy, ke\u010f zlostia \u2014 ke\u010f nezlostia s\u00fa radi, \u017ee ich aspo\u0148 chv\u00ed\u013eu nepo\u010duj\u00fa. To je v\u0161ak ve\u013emi siln\u00fd predpoklad toho, \u017ee sa dostanete do bludn\u00e9ho kruhu \u2014 zlost\u00edm preto\u017ee sa ma nikto nev\u0161\u00edma, kone\u010dne si ma v\u0161imli \u2014 ale a\u017e vtedy, ke\u010f sprav\u00edm nie\u010do zl\u00e9, neoplat\u00ed sa mi spr\u00e1va\u0165 sa dobre, preto\u017ee vtedy si ma nikto nev\u0161\u00edma. A toto samozrejme prebieha nevedomky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ako spr\u00e1vne reagova\u0165<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vo chv\u00edli vzdorovit\u00e9ho z\u00e1chvatu ja ako rodi\u010d ur\u010dite ni\u010d die\u0165a\u0165u nevysvet\u013eujem, nekri\u010d\u00edm, rozhodne s die\u0165a\u0165om netrasiem, ani ni\u010d podobn\u00e9. Dr\u017e\u00edm ho pevne, aby si neubl\u00ed\u017eilo, nedovol\u00edm mu ubl\u00ed\u017ei\u0165 ani in\u00fdm okolo neho, ani rozb\u00edja\u0165 a ni\u010di\u0165 veci. Nem\u00e1m probl\u00e9m necha\u0165 ho uk\u013eudni\u0165 sa na zemi (tu si pam\u00e4tajte, \u017ee \u017eiadna zem nie je dos\u0165 \u0161pinav\u00e1 \ud83d\ude42 M\u00e1m sk\u00fasenos\u0165, \u017ee ke\u010f die\u0165a nech\u00e1m hodi\u0165 sa na zem nebude tam nikdy viac ako 2 min\u00faty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ke\u010f prejde prv\u00fd atak prist\u00fapim k die\u0165a\u0165u bli\u017e\u0161ie a poviem pokojn\u00fdm hlasom: \u201cvid\u00edm, \u017ee si nahnevan\u00e1\u201d alebo \u201cvid\u00edm, \u017ee sa zlost\u00ed\u0161, rozumiem ti, aj ja by som sa hnevala, keby mi niekto nedovolil robi\u0165 pr\u00e1ve to, \u010do som chcela. Mysl\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee ti m\u00f4\u017eem pom\u00f4c\u0165 nejako to prekona\u0165?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ur\u010dite nijako nezosmie\u0161\u0148ujte ani nehodno\u0165te tak\u00e9to prejavy svojho die\u0165a\u0165a. Predstavte si, \u017ee v\u00e1s v pr\u00e1ci pr\u00e1ve nie\u010do nahnevalo a kolega sa v\u00e1m vysmeje, \u017ee len zbyto\u010dne preh\u00e1\u0148ate. \u010clovek v takejto chv\u00edli potrebuje, aby ho niekto pochopil, a\u017e potom je schopn\u00fd analyzova\u0165 a racionalizova\u0165 situ\u00e1ciu, pozrie\u0165 sa na \u0148u s odstupom a vyhodnoti\u0165, \u010di bola jeho reakcia adekv\u00e1tna. Pre\u010do to, \u010do neo\u010dak\u00e1vame sami od seba \u2014 a to reagova\u0165 v\u017edy a za ka\u017ed\u00fdch okolnost\u00ed racion\u00e1lne \u2014 o\u010dak\u00e1vame od mal\u00fdch det\u00ed, ktor\u00fdch nervov\u00e1 s\u00fastava nie je e\u0161te vyzret\u00e1 na to, aby dok\u00e1zala reagova\u0165 na podnety adekv\u00e1tne.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Na z\u00e1ver e\u0161te zopakujem: ka\u017ed\u00fd z\u00e1chvat hnevu je skvelou pr\u00edle\u017eitos\u0165ou, ako sa die\u0165a m\u00f4\u017ee nau\u010di\u0165 nie\u010do o svojom pre\u017e\u00edvan\u00ed a tr\u00e9nova\u0165 si schopnos\u0165 sebaregul\u00e1cie, tzn. n\u00e1vrat z emo\u010dne nabitej situ\u00e1cie nasp\u00e4\u0165 do norm\u00e1lu. Je preto k\u013e\u00fa\u010dov\u00e9, aby rodi\u010d dok\u00e1zal poskytn\u00fa\u0165 die\u0165a\u0165u v tetjo chv\u00edli dostatok opory pre tento tr\u00e9ning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00e1dych, v\u00fddych. Ka\u017ed\u00fd z\u00e1chvat hnevu sa raz skon\u010d\u00ed \ud83d\ude42<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

O detskom vzdore. K nap\u00edsaniu tohto blogu ma in\u0161piroval z\u00e1\u017eitok z n\u00e1v\u0161tevy u odbornej lek\u00e1rky, kde som bola so svojim 2,5 ro\u010dn\u00fdm synom. V \u010dase obeda zvy\u010dajne u\u017e sp\u00e1va, tak\u017ee nebol pr\u00e1ve ide\u00e1lne naladen\u00fd, z\u00e1rove\u0148 k lek\u00e1rom \u010dasto (na\u0161\u0165astie) nechodievame, tak\u017ee je pre\u0148ho dos\u0165 \u0165a\u017ek\u00e9 spolupracova\u0165 v nezn\u00e1mom prostred\u00ed s nov\u00fdmi \u013eu\u010fmi. Situ\u00e1cia sa vyvinula […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":804,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-clanok"],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\nM. Bal\u00e1\u017eov\u00e1: O detskom vzdore | MindGuide<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mindguide.sk\/en\/2020\/07\/27\/m-balazova-o-detskom-vzdore\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"M. Bal\u00e1\u017eov\u00e1: O detskom vzdore | MindGuide\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"O detskom vzdore. K nap\u00edsaniu tohto blogu ma in\u0161piroval z\u00e1\u017eitok z n\u00e1v\u0161tevy u odbornej lek\u00e1rky, kde som bola so svojim 2,5 ro\u010dn\u00fdm synom. V \u010dase obeda zvy\u010dajne u\u017e sp\u00e1va, tak\u017ee nebol pr\u00e1ve ide\u00e1lne naladen\u00fd, z\u00e1rove\u0148 k lek\u00e1rom \u010dasto (na\u0161\u0165astie) nechodievame, tak\u017ee je pre\u0148ho dos\u0165 \u0165a\u017ek\u00e9 spolupracova\u0165 v nezn\u00e1mom prostred\u00ed s nov\u00fdmi \u013eu\u010fmi. 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